I started to try and respond to this last night, you deserve encouragement so here goes.
There is a route through it. Of course, living in the past, obsessing over it and having no other interest or motivation in life is not healthy. The life lived, the sum of our experiences however is who we are. We can't pretend it didn't happen or didn't affect us.
Somewhere, there is healthy and a positive outlook on life. I think that your kids recognise that and are trying to help you look forward a little. I read your book, I think it will help all who read it but try to look forward and build something for yourself now.
So, you don't have to get over it, but you can get on with it. We all know the selfish bastards suck the life out of people, now is the time to be a little selfish and look after yourself.
The first thing people who go and serve in refugee camps learn is that they don’t give their sustenance to others even though they may be starving, what good are you to others if you succumb yourself. You have written painful accounts of your own experiences, they helped me, and I am sure, others. So, it is not selfish to look after your own mental strength. Try to understand how you have helped others by looking back but now you need to look forward.